Sometimes it can be really hard to see God’s hand. Sometimes it is clear as day. The last couple months has been the later. I shared a song a few days ago from Needtobreathe called Temporary Tears. By God, this song means a ton to me. I wrote:
My last two years have been full of temporary tears and hidden hallelujahs. I have learned to soak in the blessings, to not be embittered by the valleys, to setup camp in the desert and the gardens, and worship there.
What I didn’t say was that as I wrote those words I was holding a newborn baby boy in a maternity ward after a rough pregnancy.
What I didn’t write months ago, while we had a falling out with our church of eight years, was that my wife had to be taken to the ER with major complications in the pregnancy of our fourth child. I didn’t write about the frantic prayers that God save this boy. Hours in an ER, just waiting for a doctor to do an ultrasound and see if our son was okay, delayed until the last minute because we were before the point of viability. Way too many parents know this feeling, the dread.
I didn’t write about God’s grace and provisions, His protection over my little Lion.
I didn’t write about God’s guiding hand on us landing at a beautiful, new church that instantly surrounded us in grace and love that we not only needed, but that we largely lacked for years at our previous church.
If you know, you know that in these last two years we have seen trials, one after another. I said somewhere the other day that I feel like Mario facing Donkey Kong: the barrels aren’t even phasing me anymore, my legs are so trained for jumping.
I didn’t write about losing my job a week before I was supposed to take paternity leave this month, either. Because within a week I already had a new job lined up.
I literally received a call from a recruiter while telling my wife that I was laid off. I had an interview on Monday and accepted an offer before the weekend. My wife and I both had peace like a river. We’d seen God’s hand so much that we knew this was just another adjustment in His plan. He had a better role for me.
So now it’s mid-February and I am enjoying some down time with my family, a family that has increased by one this week. And in a few weeks I’ll be starting the next chapter of my career. God’s got this. He is sovereign. I’d rather Him be on the throne than me.
The tears, they’re temporary. Find the hidden hallelujahs and get in close to the fire. Soak. Trust in the Creator of all and worship there.