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#worship

I’m a multi-instrumentalist that plays with the worship team at my church. Music is intrical to me and worship at it’s core.

When the enemy says I’m done, I’ll lift my praises
When my world come crashing down, I’ll lift my praises high
‘Til the darkness turns to dawn, I’ll lift my praises
I choose to worship, I choose You now

Sometimes the dark is darker than dark. But as Psalm 139 reminds us, “even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” The darkness cannot steal my song. Nothing can. Storms, floods, armies, and persecution can try but none of it can take my song. Why? Because it comes from the Lord. The Lord that is over all. So, as Chris Llewellyn beautifully writes, “I build my alter right here and now. In the midst of the darkest night it won’t burn out.”

I needed this song today. Maybe you do to.

Sitting in Worship

It has been a week. Psalm 57 keeps coming back this year. Our captors demand we worship their gods, but at least Christ is Lord has been trending on Twitter most of the week? Our culture is retching, to say the least. It would be too easy to collapse under the weight of it, the sorrow, the hurt. But, as the dragons prowl outside and I grab my lyre and belt out worship.

This morning this song came back to me and I repeat this prayer:

Give me the strength
To be able to sing
It is well with my soul

Staring down the dragons when the Lion of Judah stands at your side eases the nerves.

These words echoed last year. I stood amongst the Church and cried more than I have in my entire adult life. I stood on stage, hidden behind the brim of my hat and my guitar, praising God that my instrument wasn’t my voice, tears streaming down my face.

It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say when I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now

Even If by MercyMe

Church got me through. Being with the Body, amongst the Body, surrounded by the Body. They were my legs when mine didn’t work. And music. God speaks so much through art and worship.

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

The lyric “but even if You don’t.” Last week we talked about sovereignty and God’s will during our Wednesday night group. We must pray to God as if He will answer our prayers and praise God even if He doesn’t.

But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

Leaving mountains unmovable. That was my 2022. But I lit many campfires and sang many dark nights, after the kids and the Sun went down, “it is well with my soul.”

A friend at church said that I have a man-crush on Brian Sauvé. Sure. But the theology buff in me draws close the good preachers that don’t tickle ears. His King’s Hall podcast is fueling my month and songs like the above are becoming anthems to carry through valleys darkened by the shadows of death.

O hear the mighty lion’s roaring,
Shaking hoary trees
The murdered Lamb, his scarlet blood,
Has broken winter’s teeth

So men of God, take up the sword
The Son of God goes forth
To bind the strong man fast in chains
And plunder all his goods

I am on a bit of a kick for the Psalmist of Ogden Brian Sauvé this week. Heck, much of February and March was me just swimming through the Psalms, so it makes sense.

Fret not thyself at evil men
Nor envy those who worketh wrong
For they will soon fade like the grass
And wither like the new-cut herb

Fret Not Thyself At Evil Men (Psalm 37:1-11)

To long with him that hateth peace
Doth mine owl soul abide
I am for peace, but when I speak
To war they ever fly

Psalm 120-121:1 (O Lord, Deliver Me) by Brian Sauvé

I wasn’t ready for this album but the algorhythm on Twitter put it in my feed last night. It got me to sleep. Then I woke with a prayer in my messages from an unknown number. So you could say that my day is going fairly well. This album has way too many good songs and good instrumentations. This is an album of psalms and a couple hymns. By today’s definition of worship— don’t get me started— that shouldn’t be this good. Go worship. Maybe I’ll do a cover sooner or later.

I have got nothing else fit for a King. This week has been a struggle. I’ve got lots of angry words. There is a time for that, but right now I am heartbroken. Heartbroken for the children— children my daughter’s age— that were murdered. Heartbroken for the families suffering from their loss. Heartbroken for their communities. My words, angry or otherwise, are falling short.

But gratitude. It’s all I’ve got at this point.

My life flows on in endless song
Above earth´s lamentation
I hear the sweet, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear that music ringing
It finds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing?

I had never really liked this song before I heard them perform it in person.

By grace alone somehow I stand
where even angels fear to tread.

Boldly I Approach by Rend Collective

How can I, a sinner stand at the Throne of God?

When condemnation grips my heart
and Satan tempts me to despair,
I hear the voice that scatters fear;
the Great I Am, The Lord is here.
O praise the One who fights for me,
and shields my soul eternally!

Despair, the opposite of hope. This world doesn’t understand hope. And it revels in despair.

For the Christian, we have to understand that “[t]he threat of Hell is real. Wilson’s analogy of receiving a pardon but understanding that you were going to be executed is important. There is punishment for sin. A just God cannot allow there not to be.” (Good News and Hope for Detransitioners). Satan will use this against us, but we must understand that this even applied to us. Our sins are forgiven by the Grace of God, but the punishment we deserve is real. And Satan is all too willing to taunt us, “surely God wouldn’t forgive you, James. Surely you have wandered too far, pissed him off too much.”

But the voice of God scatters fear. He fights for me. In your salvation, Christian, you have nothing to despair. You have nothing to fear. “You contribute nothing to your salvation except the sin that made it necessary.” If you were responsible for attaining salvation, you might be right to fear your ability to lose it. But God chose you. Yeah, you hid that one sin from Him, but seriously stop assuming there is something about you that God can miss. Chin up, finish the race.

So I throw up my hands
And praise You again and again
‘Cause all that I have is a hallelujah
Hallelujah
And I know it’s not much
But I’ve nothing else fit for a King
Except for a heart singing hallelujah

Gratitude by Brandon Lake

In the words of Jonathan Edwards, “You contribute nothing to your salvation except the sin that made it necessary.” What can we bring before the King? Worship.